the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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