Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
