I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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