let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am spending my child support on dildos
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
