is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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