every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize