It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im six kinds of drunk right now
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
