just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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