we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
