I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
