my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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