did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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