Just fell off a train. Bad.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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