i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
