i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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