it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
