Need sex. Gaining weight.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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