he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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