im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
