I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
