Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
