batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Mom said you looked used
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
