Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
