is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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