I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
North Korea, Best Korea!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
