It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
