they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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