this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
