How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
