Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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