he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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