hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
NoShamevember. You game?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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