absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
