why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
