I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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