Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
smell my finger.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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