Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
