I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
