Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This is the high leading the old right now
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
