Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
