Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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