So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
