CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
