question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
