He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
