is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
