It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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