Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize