Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Green mimosas i think yes
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
