Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
