"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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