John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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