You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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