question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
