dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
