I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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