I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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